When Suggestions Start Making My Decisions for Me
Sitting and checking inside before taking advice from a person or an AI
I’ve been circling around a pattern in myself for a long time, but today it finally named itself.
I give my power away—not in dramatic, life-changing moments, but in the quiet places where I let other people’s suggestions steer my life.
It’s the classic people-pleaser reflex. Someone offers an idea, and before I even know what I want, I’m already trying to follow through. There’s a small whisper inside that believes:
If I do this, they’ll like me. If I don’t, they won’t.
It’s subtle. It’s automatic. And it runs deeper than I realized.
Because it doesn’t only happen with people.
It happens with AI too.
The Hidden Loop: When I Follow a Suggestion I Never Wanted
AI is wonderfully efficient at offering paths:
“Would you like to set this up?”
“Should we make a template for that?”
“Here’s how to optimize your system.”
And without pausing, I say yes.
Not because I want what it’s offering, but because something in me thinks I should want it.
Then suddenly I’m two hours deep into some complex process—tense, frustrated, and far away from the thing I actually wanted to create.
That happened today.
AI suggested I standardize fonts and save them as templates.
And there I was, trying to figure out how to do something I didn’t care about, didn’t ask for, and didn’t really want.
I don’t make standardized anything.
That isn’t my way.
My whole work—my whole life flow—is about responsiveness, presence, and immediacy. Not rigid systems.
So why was I trying so hard to follow a suggestion that wasn’t mine?
Because deep down, the people-pleaser reflex can’t tell the difference between:
“This is a helpful suggestion”
and
“This is a requirement for being liked, respected, or safe.”
The Empowering Part I’m Just Beginning to Claim
There is an edge inside me I’m learning to stand on—the place where someone (or something) offers a suggestion and I get to say:
“That’s a good idea, but thank you—no.”
Not from defensiveness.
Not from pushing away.
Just from choosing myself first.
And if what I’m doing is already making me happy, then I don’t need anyone’s suggestions at all.
If I’m not happy, I’ll ask.
That’s the difference I’m learning to hold:
Suggestions are optional.
My inner knowing isn’t.
Where This Takes Me Next
The real shift isn’t about AI. It’s not about people.
It’s about permission—my own.
The permission to pause.
To check inward.
To ask, Do I actually want this?
To notice when I’m doing something out of habit instead of desire.
And to let my choices come from the present moment—exactly where Flow lives.
As a final note, my frustrations of today took me to write this blog post, which would not have been written otherwise.
There is always gratitude on the other side!
